Thursday, December 19, 2019

How Doing a Depth Year for 2019 Changed Me

I joined a majority of the Tarot Community on YouTube at the beginning of 2019 who were doing a Depth Year, inspired by Jessica Starr who was inspired by a blog post she'd read. In my case, it wasn't jumping on board of a ship, rather the ship was on the same course that I was already rowing as I'd done a year of going deep with the Thoth Tarot in 2018 and had already planned to go deep for a year with the Tarot de Marseille in 2019 as well as going deeper into my spiritual studies in order to get solid on my spiritual path, something I'd been struggling to have as a focus in my life. Narrowing my focus to two specific areas and going deeper into myself and my studies this way created profound changes for me this year. 

First, my spirituality changed as I let go of things that had never really resonated with me that I'd clung to just because "all" pagans followed them, like the Wheel of the Year and Sabbats, changing to following what's in the sky that our ancient, pre-agricultural ancestors would have followed: the phases of the Moon and the Solstices and Equinoxes. Rather than call them by special words, I just call them by what they are, for example we have the Winter Solstice coming up soon rather than Yule in my practice. I definitely consider it the beginning of the new year as well for our ancestors certainly would have started their year then since they didn't have the later manmade calendar dates to go by, their yearly cycle was more natural.

The second thing that changed drastically was how I read tarot. Learning to read the Tarot de Marseille the way it was read for hundreds of years before Tarotmancy was developed, returning instead to Cartomancy, was very comfortable to me because it allowed me to stop feeling like I needed to superimpose meanings that I didn't feel related to tarot and weren't part of how I read it like astrology and numerology, which I see as their own practices and not part of tarot. I've never really found tarot worked well for me in doing shadow work and spiritual insight readings, I've always found oracle decks to work better for those personally. 

So basically this Depth Year of 2019 allowed me to go deeper within to find what really works for me personally. In letting go of all that doesn't feel right to me, I was able to become more of my authentic Self, and in response to that I also left YouTube. I've found peace, and now all explorations I do aren't something I feel I need to share with the world, they're personal and for my own enjoyment and exploration and I like it that way. 

Exploration will be my theme for 2020 as I leave depth years behind and, after two years of focusing on specific decks and systems, bring out my other decks to play again to see if they can fit into my new way of seeing the tarot or not. Also, as we're moving to my home state of New Hampshire this year after I've been gone for over 30 years, it will be a year of exploration there too as we learn our way around and explore new trails too. I'll be exploring things I've wanted to do for a long time like refinishing furniture and making herbal salves, decoctions and tinctures along with new ways of gardening. I'm excited about the new horizons ahead of me next year! 

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